June 21, 2026
Father’s Day and I want to go fetal Close up like a flower with browbeaten petals Rain prying at my shoulders while I glare down at the dirt Refusing god the satisfaction of my face lifted skyward I will not be comforted by whatever (so-called) divine wisdom Chose to snatch away the dad who always reached for me Who brought me flowers after my first teenage heartbreak Who laughed at my jokes and listened to and liked me Who was wonderful in a million ways I can’t touch without it cutting me Memories slicing at my guts like I’ve swallowed a glass bowl Choked past the crunch as it shatters chest to belly Tiny savage shards that slash my insides into ribbons As I collapse like an inflatable with all its air escaping
Hey, there. Thanks for reading. 🖤
No drawing today — this entry didn’t want one. Which is a relief because I’m worn down to a fucking nubbin.
Grief is exhausting. It has waves that knock you to your knees and a relentless undertow. It wrings you out over and over again, twisting you from waterlogged to rubbed raw and fraying.
Grief kicks you in the stomach when you least expect it — like with a half-full cart in the frozen section of the grocery store where you stand still as a fucking snowman and refuse to cry in public as a song you heard the day he died plays over the sound system. A song you’ve always loved and still do, even with all that loss poured over everything.
Life’s a Sour Patch Kid — sweet with sour coating it.
It’s been almost two years since my dad died, and it feels like my grief is only increasing. It’s sinking in, how final this is. How I have to live the whole rest of my life without him in it.
I’m starting to think time doesn’t heal wounds as much as give them a chance to build up scar tissue. Which is to say I’m hanging in there by my fingernails and praying this eventually feels less devastating.
If you’re reading this and your dad is gone too, my heart is with you. It’s a hell of a thing to survive, so I’m glad you’re here, still living, still remembering him.
To the fathers, the fatherless, and you lucky ones whose dads are still around, Happy Father’s Day.